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Ya Gotta Have Faith!

I remember sitting in church one day as our pastor talked about how Joshua fought the battle of Jericho. I know the verse of the song we learned as children about the battle, "Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho, and the walls came a tumblin' down". What I didn't know was how the walls came a tumblin' down. In Joshua 6:2-5, we learn that God had a plan:
Then the LORD said to Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.”

This takes faith. Faith I do not have (YET!). I believe that he knows everything. I believe that he can do anything.I am challenged in trusting that he will do it for ME. It's not that he hasn't shown me time and again that he is here for me. I just don't know when a prayer will go unanswered because I have more to learn or somewhere else to go or something else to do before I can get to the next thing. It's out of my control and it's unknown so I worry instead of pray. I try to make things happen and fit things into my life rather than allowing the things to come when they are meant to come.

Still, he brought the peace I felt in leaving my pastor's office knowing I could divorce and that it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. He was the insistence I felt that I was not wrong in knowing that my ex was cheating on me even when he'd deny it and tell me I was crazy (in the literal sense). He was the change within me when I accepted him as the father I had always longed for; a change that truly transformed me from the inside out. He was the peace and calm I had during my first separation from my ex that allowed me to let go and sign the paperwork to dissolve our marriage. He was the voice saying RUN as I stood at the end of the aisle on the day I got married. YET, I still believed I knew better and did things my way when his was in conflict with my own desires. I know I will still get where I am going and will be where I am meant to be, but the more my willfulness is out of line with God's plans for me the longer it takes to realize the best he has for me.

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