Waking Up Me!

Lately, JM keeps coming up. A couple of weeks ago, I grabbed a frozen soup container from the freezer to have for lunch. I thought it was my enchilada soup, but it turned out to be the venison stew that JM made earlier this year. A couple nights ago, Noah asked if anymore of JM's soups were in the freezer. He was especially hopeful that the cream of mushroom with the bacon was in there. It was! Today on the ride home, he came up again. It's weird when someone was part of your life for a while and then you go missing them. They are a memory and a time or season, but no longer the one in the kitchen making the soup, stocking the freezer until next time, or sitting at the table as you enjoy a meal together. Instead, they become the person you say, "Remember that time when we were here with JM..."  Yes, I remember because his name is still on my lips as I share my memories, too.

As I sought prayer last week as we interceded for JM as he struggled with some c hanges that were affecting h is futu re and truth be told, mine , I had two of my aunts and my girl KB all come back and assure me with Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Three is always significant. I wasn't sure just w hat to do with this. Was this for him? Me? Both of us ? I think last night God helped me see what He meant in this.   Lean not on your own understand ing... When I was lying down to go to sleep last night and wrest ling with this, I rea lized that we think it's our heart that is broken. That it isn't capable of love. But what is truly broken is our ability to trust. To trust ou rselves. To t rust our hearts. To trust God and God with our hearts. When I was trying to figure out if I had mis taken what God was doing with ...