Waking Up Me!

My mom and I were on the phone yesterday and she told me that while at my house earlier in the day, she read my journal. It was the first journal I had written from back in 1990/91. I started writing in it after I graduated early from high school in January of 1990 and wrote in it up until November 1991 before I got my final details for the Navy. At first, I felt a bit taken back by the fact that she read my journal as I had no idea what all I said in it. Once she told me that it helped her to see me and know me better and in a different way, I let go of my apprehension over it. She explained that she didn't really know me back then and got a peek into my heart and soul. She didn't know that I loved Jesus very much even then. She did know I was lost and wandering, but said she was glad to read about my relationships, friends, and my beautiful heart. It's amazing how our perception of others without taking the time to truly know them can create the wrong picture of who they ...

For each of us, the timing of when to let go differs just as does each situation in which we need to let go in order for us to reach the next step in our journey. I have been holding on to a special someone and comparing each person who has come into my life to what he brought into my life. Last week, as the pain from missing him mixed in with so much else going on was weighing on me, I knew something need to change. This weekend, little-by-little, I was able to figure out what that change is and start the process of letting go. It started off with my two little ones heading to NY for the next couple of weeks to be with their grandparents as they have for the last few summers. As close as our lives have become intertwined through the process of becoming a new family unit after our divorce and as we have all healed this last year, I was going to miss them more than ever. Usually, having them go is a happy time for me knowing what a great time they'll have and how wonderful th...

All day today--and for so long before this that I can't even tell you when it first began--God has been trying to get me to let go. To trust him. To turn to him. To embrace his Truth. Lysa TerKeurst who is the President and co-founder of Proverbs 31 Ministry as well as the NYT Best Selling author of Made to Crave which is a book I am reading about "satisfying your deepest desire with God and not food", writes things that speak to me. I have read her book "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" (which I am ALL about!) and "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" (okay, I didn't finish this one because it required work my heart wasn't yet ready to do and my mind wasn't ready to wrap around it yet). Lysa speaks with honesty and truth--from the Bible and her real life. She isn't perfect and doesn't pretend to be. I like real because I can relate. It reminds me that I don't have to be perfect to live by God's grace and mer...