Waking Up Me!

A little over a month ago, I was getting ready to go to Chicago for a leadership forum days after my step-father passed away. This week, I am heading there again and another person who has impacted my life in more ways than I can describe is about to pass away. My granny had an aneurysm burst in her head and now has a brain bleed covering more than a quarter of her brain. She, too, is 89 years old just like my step-father was. I am feeling like the same thing is happening all over again, but the big difference is that she is peaceful in the letting go. She has been ready and waiting to go to Jesus for a long time, but now we think Jesus is ready to receive her, too. Two of my aunts are on their way home to say goodbye. All of us locally have been to see her today. We have loved on her, sat with her, held her hand, told her how loved she is and laughed and told stories with each other about our shared lives. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have been born into this family and to ha...

I can't stop crying. My heart is broken, and I can't catch my breath. I keep feeling like I am going to throw up and then I start sobbing. My dear SAM, my Josephy, is "no longer with us". That's what the email from his mom said. I don't want to believe it's true. I look at all these little pieces and think that it can't really be true. She doesn't call him Joe. Only I did. I can't breathe. I keep sucking in air, but it feels like not enough. I don't want it to be true. I lost it in front of the kids. When I first read the note from his mother...just the heading put me on edge and I didn't want to read it because I didn't want it to be real. I closed myself in the bathroom and sat against the wall and just cried and wailed. Noah came in to check on me. After I got it together, I went out to my chair to read the note again. To look on the internet for any information. Nothing. And then the tears came again. Gabby came over and...