Waking Up Me!

Before Joseph/SAM went off to the Middle East, he told me that if anything happened to him his mom had all my information and would contact me. He also told me that it would probably be weeks before the news would reach anyone. He knew the details would be sketchy at best, too. It was the nature of his work. All of those things are now holding true. And I hate that any of it had to play out at all. I never really thought he'd be killed. I didn't believe he'd be in the field, but instead behind a computer aiding those in the field. Maybe that's just what I wanted to be true. I have hit the bargaining stage. I want this to be a big, elaborate lie made up so that I will move on and not believe there is a future for us, but who would be horrible enough to go this route? It would have been easier for him to send an email telling me I was nothing and never mattered than to tell me he's dead and never coming back. Ever. I hate this war. It will never end, and I have to...