Waking Up Me!

I read this article  posted by a friend. She asked what are the 20 things a woman should do for her man. My responses below were learned the hard way through my own 15 year marriage and the 9 years since I chose to divorce. They are not things I say lightly or for part-time living. They are for every day. Every. Day! Even when your man doesn't deserve it, hasn't earned it, give it to him. That is what unconditional love is. The most quoted verses at weddings is from 1 Corinthians 13. It speaks of God's love for us and is meant to teach us how to love like He does. That's what the marriage relationship is to emulate, God as Groom/Husband and us/the church as his Bride. 1. She speaks of him with deference in front of others including her girlfriends.  2.  She treats him with respect and lifts him up with her words, affirming his character.  3. She knows no one is perfect and gives him grace for those moments when he falls short for we all do.  4. She k...

A week ago, I returned from my leadership forum. That morning, I shared the story of my roots. The story of where I came from and where as well as how my identity initially formed. I was a Burke from a strong line of tough Irish folks who made their way to the States in the late 40s and found each other after knowing each other in County Mayo where they grew up. My granny was a Burke by marriage, but she embraced it and each of us who were born into her line through my grampy who gave her his name. She gave up her spirit just before I arrived back in Cleveland last Friday night.  Me, grampy, granny - 1992 I knew she was going to die while I was away, or at least suspected she would as she was not expected to recover after her fall the previous Saturday night. I visited her one last time before I headed to Chicago on Wednesday last week. This past Wednesday, we laid her to rest. We had a mass, shared our hearts and passages from the Bible to encourage those of us left behin...

A little over a month ago, I was getting ready to go to Chicago for a leadership forum days after my step-father passed away. This week, I am heading there again and another person who has impacted my life in more ways than I can describe is about to pass away. My granny had an aneurysm burst in her head and now has a brain bleed covering more than a quarter of her brain. She, too, is 89 years old just like my step-father was. I am feeling like the same thing is happening all over again, but the big difference is that she is peaceful in the letting go. She has been ready and waiting to go to Jesus for a long time, but now we think Jesus is ready to receive her, too. Two of my aunts are on their way home to say goodbye. All of us locally have been to see her today. We have loved on her, sat with her, held her hand, told her how loved she is and laughed and told stories with each other about our shared lives. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have been born into this family and to ha...

I am wondering about death. About life. Can life be as rich i f we don't know the sorrow and loss of death? That is where I am right now in my pondering. When someone close to you starts to en ter the end stages of li fe, it makes you think much more about li ving and the time you do have left with the m. Not knowing how long they may have left makes me desire more time wi th them in my life. My grampy died 10 years ago last month; he was one of the most signif icant pe ople in my life since bir th . He had been close to death a number of times from num erous ailments probably precipi tated by his eating, drinking, and smo king habits, but he always seemed to rally . He was a stubborn old man with a will of i ron. Still, his body gave out on him, and death took him . I remember exac tly where I was when the call came from my Uncle Matt t o tell me. I said, "I' m not ready for him to be dead." He asked, "Would you ever be ?" Of course the ans wer was no. ...

Marry Me! And no, I am not proposing to you. Once, many moons ago, I did propose to a man. As it turned out, I married him, too, but that was many break-ups and reconciliations later and NEVER have I had a real proposal. What do I consider to be a real proposal? One that includes true love, a ring, and an offer of marriage. I used to think the ring wasn't all that important. In many ways, I still agree with that. To me, it's more the symbol of the unity--the unbroken circle of the ring--and the fact that this man has chosen that particular ring for the woman he wants to marry with only her in mind. It signifies their union and beginning. I have been asked to marry 4 men--all linked to military service. The first time, I was asked was by a man named Kevin. He was in the Navy, we'd gone to the same high school, and we shared a group of friends. He told me he had his grandmother's ring in a box and would marry me right now. Mind you, I'd not even kissed the guy nor ...

A few months ago in church, we had to write ourselves a note about what we felt God was asking of us in that moment. Mine was this: Love without restraint I have a very tender heart, and I guard it maybe a little too much these days. When your heart takes too much damage, you take care to protect it from further incidences of pain, turmoil, and emptiness. You stop risking the maybes and what if s and live only for the sur e things. Well, my friends, there is on ly one sure things in this life and it i s that we will all one day die. So, I ask mysel f now, w hy not take some risks, li ve more fully now , and know that your reg re ts when death comes are not ones about the roads not taken?  There are no guarantees in life. Even the most beautiful marriages can come crumbling down. E ven those who are li ving a life surrende red to the Lord can fall. How often has it happened even in the Bible? David knew the Lord, but still he chose to take Bathsheba into his bed and the...