Seasons of change

When I wrote my first blog post, I had just gotten set into a new routine for my weight loss and fitness. Prior to that first post, I had lost 42 lbs. Since that first post, I have lost an additional 55lbs and am still working toward losing that next 15 to reach my first goal before I reassess where I want to take things next. This year, I participated in a 5k and a 10k in which I ran/walked for an average pace of 15 min/mile. On Halloween, I ran my first 5k in under a 12:30 min/mile pace. I was thrilled beyond anything I can say. On top of it, I got a size L long-sleeved t-shirt from that race that I love to wear.
This was me in November 2009:




















This is me this year at the end of October for a Halloween party I went to:


What a difference a year can make in one's life. What the picture can't tell goes beyond what the physical changes have been for me. The journey turned from being about fitness and healthy eating choices at some point and I realized I had to fix some of what caused the weight issues, depression and anxiety that had ruled my life for the last umpteen years! The things in my life had changed dramatically since I first started my journey in 2009. I moved out of the home I had shared with my husband and children since we bought it ten years previously. I filed for divorce. I now shared custody 50/50 with my ex-husband for our three children. I tried to disrupt their lives as little as possible in these already difficult circumstances and to create as much stability as I could.

In January of this year, my work world began to change dramatically as well as our company lost its largest customer and meant a dramatic reduction in force was now required. By June, more changes in the landscape of our service industry had caused more reduction in revenue. Times were tough. In July, I started to look at the mess that was in my proverbial closet and decided I needed to change from the inside now. In August, my boss whom I dearly loved, resigned. He has been there for me during my divorce, a support to me during my weight loss, and always reminded me how special and worthwhile I was--even when I didn't know it or see it in myself. It was during this darkest period between mid-July and through August that I found healing.

I turned my focus onto God and stopped trying to make my plans fit into this life. For whatever reason, that never really works. If it had, I would have had a much different life, but I don't know if it would have been as full as this one has. I realized that always living Plan B was what I ended up doing, but it was a fight because I was forcing things into places. I lived trying to control my circumstances rather than embracing what was happening to me in this life. I was watching my life pass before me and not enjoying it for what it was worth. I was missing out on all that I had been given. At the beginning of September, I finally found my way out again and knew what it was to truly be happy in the moment and with what I had.

A week later, I met a guy online who I just clicked with immediately. A guy I still have never met. Someone who I may never meet. Someone who captured my heart. That story is still unfolding and being written. What I learned in this is that if we are not open to these moments and opportunities, we miss them. I am glad I didn't miss this one!

Comments

  1. Moderately appropriate, you've saved yourself. I just realized who you are, keep going on your journey! It takes a lot to put yourself out there, especially if no one's listening...from one old soul to another...don't think - reacting is so much more fun!! ;-)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CYE0DYIbaw

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  2. I have to agree! I am enjoying the moments much more not trying to plan for them! Love the video and song...glad she left him on the stoop!

    My ex called me about 6 weeks ago to apologize for "everything". When I asked what precipitated the call, he said it was this song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

    Fitting! But I am free from that past and paving a new road...one moment at a time!

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