Oh, yeah! It's Monday!

I haven't been in the office for work since before Christmas. Last night, I started to get tired around 6:30 PM as the darkness set in and the tragedy on the Cleveland Browns home field set in. I knew it was WAY too early for bed, so I pushed through. Had a little tea, had a bowl of my favorite Mutligrain Cheerios for dinner and chatted with some friends and caught up on Facebook. At 11PM, I had to go to bed. Tired was REALLY setting in now. Or, so I though. As I looked at my phone one last time, the time read 12:34 (read one-two-three-four o'clock, for those not in the know!). I checked Facebook again because that's what I do when I am bored and awake and any other time because I have an addiction, but that's for another time lest I digress because that, too, is what I do.

Anyway, I finally lay my head down again and do fall asleep shortly after bitching about being up at this hour via Facebook. Because, that's what I do...bitch and Facebook. At 7 AM--not the usual time I get up, but I gave myself a knowing reprieve this morning since I have been sleeping in the last few days, my alarm goes off. I snooze it. Because that's what I do. Then, I get a "good morning" text as I am lying in bed trying to kick my "I don' wanna" out and decide how to get my workout on this morning. After some contemplation, I decide to get in my first HIIT (high intensity interval training) session in using my new Gymboss (Christmas gift to self--love it!!). I do a bunch of the things that I loved from Jillian's 30-day shred...and I use the term "loved" loosely. In reality, I liked that they weren't my fave, but got my blood pumping. So, every minute I changed what I was doing. I ran (x2), did high knees, plank, standing mountain climbers, jumping jacks (x2), plank jacks, plank twists, and plank mountain climbers. DONE with that, off to the shower!

In the shower, I am enjoying the water and go to soap up...and day three it is that I still have not remembered to put a new bar of soap in the shower. F*ck! Not in the mood to use man soap or kids shampoo on my body for a third day in a row, I trudge my wet ass out onto the bath mat and scoot it to the closet where I have the soap in a drawer. Shift-scoot back to the running shower now and finish the job. SIGH! As I shave my legs, I realize my razor is dulling, too, %#!*! It is gonna just have to do the job because I am not going back to the closet right now. I escape the shower without a nick or a cut which is a godsend for this stupid Monday morning.

I dry off, lotion up my legs which are feeling worse for wear after the dull razor episode and get dressed. I pull out my oh-so-cute red panties and bra which will go so well with my red, black and gray tights, black skirt and red cami-tank and sweater ensemble I have chosen for the day. As I am dressing, I am making a note to myself that I need to call maintenance about the fire detector that began squawking last night and needs a new battery and thinking that I should have them fix those 2 linoleum squares and burnt out light bulb in my bathroom, the light bulb in the main bathroom and a tile in the laundry room. Still need to call that in before I forget which may be moments from now.

I get to work and I am trying to bring all the healthy things I have brought in to eat into the kitchen. As I do, I drop the container of cabbage rolls. Of course! The top pops up, it splashes the floor, one of the tall chair legs, my legs and shoe...and there I stand shaking my head at the container as if IT leapt from my hand...bad container! BAD CONTAINER! Off come my 3 1/2" peep toe shoes so I can get on my hands and knees to clean up my mess all the while hoping no one comes into the kitchen while I am all Cinderella on the work-kitchen floor! FML! Just as I finish my clean up and putting the things into the fridge, my work-neighbor comes into the kitchen. Phew! Just filling up my coffee cup now and greet him with a fake smile. He looks as tired as I feel. And, now, he wants to talk about why he's so tired. Because I have 3 kids, I am an expert. I always get the kids questions from him ("Is it normal if my kids does...", "My kid has a rash/cough/boogers/fever..."). From the rest of the folks, I am the resident doctor as well--and not just of the pediatric variety. I answer his questions and give him some things to try at home and wish him the best. I take my coffee to my office and start catching up.

After my 36 ounces of water and 16 ounces of coffee so far this morning and the fact that I am slowly freezing to death in my office with its big, wind-blowing-through-it windows, I have to pee. As I go to pull up my underwear and tights, I see that multi-tasking while dressing is not always prudent. My underwear are on backwards. SERIOUSLY! They are. How did I not notice?! Easily. They are boy shorts and if you don't look at the cute little bow in the front or the tag in the back, you too could have made this mistake. Funny part is, that I thought for sure I had done that because I was thinking about the cute little bow on the black ones I had been wearing before my shower. Thinking back, I think it was that bow I thought I had checked when I should have been checking the red ones as I put them on today. Oh, well. Just another 6 hours before I can go home and rectify that situation.

Monday, I hate you. I asked you to be good to me and you bitch-slapped me anyway. Didn't you understand me when I asked you to be gentle with me today? You are as evil as I remembered you! Until next week...I bid you adieu, Monday, because I am done with you today already!

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