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Thursday, February 10, 2011

F**kin' Perfect!

As a woman and the mother of a little girl, the need to be f**kin' perfect can become overwhelming at any age. I watch my little girl as she sees me making changes in my life. I watch her becoming more active because I am more active. I watch her make healthier choices because I make healthier choices. I watch her weigh herself and tell me that she's lost a pound or an ounce or whatever. I have also watched her react to the Wii tell her that she is overweight. It's not pleasant. No one wants to hear that you are something less than what you see yourself as. In her eyes, she is not overweight. In the land of scales, weights, measures and ranges, she is. I am, too. I think it's important for her to realize that as something that is important from a health and wellness standpoint, but not as something that defines her.

The other night, she was climbing into bed next to me to snuggle and looked at herself in the mirror. At that moment, the door had been opened to a teaching moment. I asked her what she saw when she looked in the mirror. She started to tell me what other people told her about her. So, I asked again. What do YOU see when YOU look at that little girl in the mirror? She looked again at the reflection of herself. She was thoughtful for a moment before answering. She understood what I was saying about other people having their own perspective of what or who we are because of what they see in and from their own experiences which make that perspective. What I wanted from her was how she viewed herself out of her own eyes and did she love what she saw.

In the end, I want her to know just what P!nk is saying in her song:
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're f*ckin' perfect to me!



We cannot allow the "perfect" of the world or the perception of others dictate who or what we are. No one is or ever will be perfect. What we need to find is acceptance for ourselves and others. We can only do our best and nothing more. Sometimes our best is stymied by the place of darkness we are in at any given moment or season of our life. It doesn't define us, but it does affect us. I see the struggles of my children as other children call them names and make them feel like less than they are. They are not the sum of the words spoken against them. They are so much more to me and so many others. I feel sorry for people in the world that need to hurt others to make themselves feel better. That kind of brokenness just begets more brokenness. It's sad and hateful and harmful. My heart aches for each of those children who don't have someone to tell them it's not okay to hurt others or to tell them that they are f**kin' perfect just the way they are and don't need to take the joy of others away to find that in themselves!

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