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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Long Sleeved T and me

I have this "thing" for long sleeved T-shirts. I usually hate t-shirts, but a long-sleeved one makes me happy. Sadly, I only own one right now. It's the one I got from the Halloween Fun Run I did last year. It's black with orange writing and a pumpkin on it, but I wear it frequently. It is my go-to shirt that I wear around the house or to just run out and get something. I am wearing it right now as I work from home in the midst of what has been termed "snowmaggedon" because of the snow storm of epic proportions that's hit our area. It really isn't THAT BAD outside, but the hype was overwhelming. I am happy I don't live in the Chicago-area which seems to have been the hardest hit.



Back to my shirt. I wore it one day when my girlfriend was in town from Colorado and I expected us to just be running around all day. As it turned out, we went to a bar that night without going home first and there I was a little under dressed for the evening. Luckily, it was ugly sweater night and I was there with DK so it wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. I did, unfortunately or fortunately, run into a bunch of folks I'd gone to high school with while I was looking my spiffiest! haha!

On Sunday, a guy friend, Bear, had invited me to the movies. Since DK always used to tell me I was overdressed, I tried to dress down a pit. I just wore my olive green chinos, my Clarks black shoes (other than my ballerina flats, these have the lowest heel--because Bear is short--WAY shorter than I remember him being, too!), and my long-sleeved T and topped it all off with my Navy peacoat. All he could see when we met in the theater's lobby, was the lower half of my body and my peacoat. He made the comment that I'd dressed up and I pulled open my jacket and said, "No. I have my running shirt on. So, I am dressed somewhat casually." and I laughed. He was worried that he hadn't given me enough time to get ready since I was wearing my "running" shirt. I laughed again and explained it was a shirt from a race I'd done and that I had not been running--it was Sunday and that is my rest day.

I think that whole exchange really bothered him because after he'd walked me almost to my car, he made the comment about it again--my wearing my "running" shirt. For me, I was seeing the night as two friends seeing a movie together. Now, I think he may be seeing it as a date. He also made the comment that he hadn't told his best friend that we were going out and that he was going to get his balls busted for it. I kinda feel like it may have been a race to the finish line to see which of them could hang with me first as his best friend and I just exchanged cell #s last week. We'd all met at a Halloween party at one of my girlfriend's houses and it was actually his best friend who'd I'd been talking to at the end of the evening and he'd kissed me good-bye very unexpectedly. As it turned out, he had a girlfriend who he's no longer seeing. Anyway, my point is that I enjoy both of their company, but neither is of interest to me. Both are 40, drink often, and are grown up kids. I have 3 kids already and don't want another man-boy.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy having fun and living life filled with adventures, but I am an adult with a teenager and two elementary school children. I want someone who has similar interests, who is not a big drinker and partier, and who also wants to be physically active. Bear, while he has stated that he wants to get in shape and that I inspire him to do that, is not living that way. When you're having Jack and coke and Taco Bell for "breakfast", it's not really my thing. Sometimes, I feel like a snob because I have these things that I want now and because of it, the pool of people I'd consider dating has considerably shrunk. Plus, I so CANNOT date a short guy. I am only 5'6" tall, but if I wear my tallest heels which are 3-4 inches that puts me around 5'10". So, I don't want a guy shorter than that! As I date, I also learn about more things that I don't want--like baby-mama drama from someone else's ex. My ex and I have a very good relationship--though, he did refer to me as "babe" yesterday and I totally wanted to vomit--and don't fight over our kids and time with them and the like. We're both working toward this co-parenting situation together and trying to re-form our relationship on friend terms.

My goal right now is to have guy friends. To figure out what I want and don't want. To learn to see the things that I gloss over and pretend don't exist because I need to pay attention to what really matters. To analyze the situations with these guy friends and if something more come of it, great. If not, I have another friend. What I find challenging, though, is when they want more and I don't. How do I maintain that friendship while not hurting them? Sometimes, I feel genuinely bad because I deflect their advances, but I don't know any other way to deal with keeping those boundaries in place. I suppose coming out and saying to Bear that I just want to be friends would be a start. That is what I did with John and it's worked great. Dating with children and after 15 years of marriage which started when you were 22 is a whole new world that I have to admit I was not ready for!

This weekend, on Saturday, I am doing Tackle the Tower at Erieview. I'm doing the Fun Walk which is 34 flights of stairs in the tower. Can I just tell you the part I am most excited about is that I get a new long-sleeved T?! It will be a size M; at least I believe that's what I ordered, but I may be thinking about the t-shirt (not long-sleeved) I ordered for the Rite Aid Marathon/Half/10k in May. Hmmm...I'll let you know!

3 comments:

  1. I don't envy you. I remember being there and it wasn't fun. Straight up the truth is the best policy (which I know you know). It may be that they don't want just to be friends and if that is the case, you really haven't lost anything.

    I so LOL'ed about the height thing. Ditto THAT! :-)

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  2. Lo, it was so funny because when he walked in, I swear he looked at my shoes because I seemed taller than he remembered as well, but maybe he was looking at what I was wearing--giving me a once over. I was telling John that he comes up to like my shoulder. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but that's how it felt. So, when the midget sat in our row...I almost peed myself! It was just too ironic. He wants to get coffee on Sunday, so that will be as good a time as any to give him the scoop about being friends and all.

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  3. LOL! Men! :-) Good luck with that talk!

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