Sometimes, I don't want to. The reality is that it's hard and it's strange and new for my body. I have never done well on low-carb programs. I liken the Abs menus a bit to Atkins where you can eat a TON of high fat and high protein. The difference is that while the Abs program is 42% fat, it's the good fats Monounsaturated Fatty Acids (MUFAs) like avocados, smoked salmon, tuna, olive oil and nuts. Then, it's 38% protein which is from eggs (every morning), lean meats (lamb chops, tenderloin steak, chicken breasts, pork chops, etc.) and lots of seafood (scallops, shrimp, tuna, and fillets of fish). The remainder is made up of raw and cooked veggies and mostly green leafy ones. Every day at dinner there is a large salad accompanying the meal, many lunches are salads with proteins; the dressing is 1T olive oil and 2t red wine vinegar (I use more vinegar and sometimes substitute balsamic vinegar for a change). It's 1500+ calories per day, but sometimes I want my calories made up of other things...like whole wheat toast and natural peanut butter. This is not about my food though, it's about submitting to something and completing a task based on that. It's purely an attitude issue.
If I have an attitude of it being too hard or that I don't want to or I can't, then I won't. That's where submitting comes in. I need to stop taking that route and look up for the help I need. I want to live in God's will and this small area of submission (that feels huge in the moment, mind you) is just a step. It's a step to say that my will power to stop at one serving or one time isn't available. My head says ICE CREAM or PB&J will satisfy me more and are only 'x' calories; they may also lead to a binge. And maybe not just for a day or a meal, but on and on. So, I need to stop allowing the foods to control me. That starts in my head. Once my head is right, my actions can be, too. This is one of those areas where I need God's strength because I can justify things all too well when I feed my right now need. I don't want to be like Esau and sell my first born rights to Jacob over a meal that will satisfy right now. I want to focus on the whole of me and the big picture of forever--for me and for my kids!
My mom told me today at lunch that she offered my kids some snack options the other day and they told her what they could and could not have. That is HUGE! When they used to want a snack, I would tell them their options: apples, carrots, banana, almonds, yogurt, etc. Now, rather than take the opportunity to eat whatever they want because my mom won't know any better, they hold themselves accountable. This isn't just Gabby either...it's Noah, too. He lost 6 lbs last month in taking him off the medication that has caused such a dramatic weight gain in the 4 years he's been on it. He was so excited about it that he called me from NY to tell me this. With summer here, they are at the pool every day. This makes them SUPER hungry. I know that swimming does this. They have become so good about staying within the guidelines of what and when they can eat and drinking water before asking for more to eat. I am beyond proud of them!
Sometimes and right now are just moments...this is forever. So, for this moment, this time, this season, I submit to what I want forever which is more than what I feel in this moment! And here's proof...I bought the dress in the picture below when I last lost a bunch of weight in 2002. I weigh around the same now as I did when I bought it (within about 5 lbs), but the dress fits and wears better now because of how I got there--healthy foods and not just calorie ranges met and a range of exercise:
And that makes me smile! I am worth this effort and so are my kids and their kids and their kids...paying it forward ...