See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. ~Isaiah 43:19, NIV
Ah, yes! A new thing. Restoration. Renewal. While the end result of these changes can be transformative in nature, getting to the other side can be a tough process. In order to restore something to its former grandeur,it may mean breaking down the old; cutting away the rotted out, no longer needed places, in order to build something up again. To make it new. Sometimes from the depth of its foundations. To Renew means to reestablish something as in the case of relationships. This transformation is happening to me. Within me. Through me. To my core--the depth of my soul.
About six months ago, my friend, Jerri, shared God's message about this renewal and restoration that God had planned for each of us. I have reminded myself of this many times. This verse from Isaiah 43:19. This season that is coming. This desire that God was going to meet. Little did I know that it was already upon me.
On Friday night, I was wrestling with feeling overwhelmed. A woman in church saw this and came to me and prayed over me. As we entered into worship, the torrents of emotion overtook me, the tears poured out as I stood with my head on Matthew's shoulder and cried as he hugged me. I wasn't sure exactly what it was all about. It was like when people speak all at once and you can't catch what anyone is saying because it's too much to take in, but this wasn't words. Instead it was emotions and "stuff" that was coming at me. It was as if my brains synapses were like the wad of threads tied up in my sewing box--so many different spools and pieces. Disjointed, discarded, attached or removed. I didn't know which ones had beginnings or ends.
As Pastor Paul came over to me with his wife and laid his hands on me and prayed, his words untangled the threads for me. He told me that I needed to let go and allow God to release for me all the promises and gifts he'd foretold as being mine. Present tense. Not then. Not someday. Now. He went on to say that God wants to restore and renew me. That was it. The dam broke! He told me that was just what God needed, to let the walls come down so he could start his work.
When Easter hit on Sunday, I was still feeling a little worn. I was holding one of my cousin's babies and putting her to sleep and talking to my aunt. I was telling her this story. She said it was amazing because the first thing she noticed about me was how different I was. How happy I was. It's funny how God's light can't be contained. I am a new creation. May His light always shine through me!