Have you ever just known that you have to do something, but not sure why? You can see lots of reasons for it, but nothing is exact as to why? Well, I had that happen just recently. I felt like God wanted me to take care of the things around my house that annoy me, but not enough to do anything about. What started as a feeling that I needed to do some cleaning turned into a project: touch up some paint, fill some holes, wash walls, deep clean in places that are hidden. I hung pictures and wall decor and made my house a home again. It felt so good to live here again; to accept the gift that had been given and treasure it for as long as it is mine to have.
When my friends came over for our study after I had done most of the work, I thought for sure they would notice. No one did. I brought it up and then they commented on it. Still, I had more work to do and I called attention to the places they don't see that have yet to be cleaned (my room, walk-in closet and the loft bedroom which is my son's room). Funny how my outward life is so much like my inward struggle. I wanted them to see the work I had done, but I wanted to hide the stuff that was still a work in progress. Unclean. Not ready for public consumption.
Today, as I was admiring the walls that were clean and the lack of hand prints and smudged walls, I realized how God was using this. As I scrubbed the wall above the sink in the kitchen, I realized that God wants to clean up my thoughts and the broken down places inside of me just like He was having me do in my house. He wanted me to pay special attention to how it was FOR ME and not for others. Not so they would see me differently or remark at my changes, but so I would be happy with the work and want to LIVE right where I was. Happy as I am and not focused on what work still needs to be done. There will always be work to be done. Changes to be made. Messes to clean up. Taking what is complete and reveling in it and enjoying all He has made in me, around me, through me...that was Lesson 1 for this new journey.